The one about the presents....
A rich man and a poor man are shopping for presents for their wives. The rich man gets his wife a diamond necklace and a BMW. The poor man says to him "Why did you get her both of those?" The rich man replies "Well, if she doesn't like the necklace, she can take it back in the BMW and she'll still be happy."
The poor man gets his wife a pair of slippers and a dildo. The rich man says "Why did you get your wife those presents?"
The poor man says "Well, if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself !"
The one about the Essex girls...
What's the difference between a washing machine and an Essex girl?
A washing machine doesn't spit your load out when it's finished!
The one about leper hockey...
Why did the referees abandon the leper ice hockey match?
Because there was a face-off in the corner!
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