Cumcumbers are better than men because...

The average cucumber is at least six inches long

Cucumbers stay hard for a week

A cucumber won't tell you, "size doesn't matter"

Cucumbers don't get "too" excited

A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety

Cucumbers are easy to pick up

You can eat a cucumber when you feel like

A cucumber doesn't care if you're a virgin

Cucumbers won't ask, "Am I the best? How was it?"

No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber

A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache

With a cucumber you never have to say you're sorry

A cucumber will never leave you for another woman

You always know where your cucumber has been

Cucumbers don't leave you wondering for a month

It's easy to drop a cucumber

No matter how to slice it, you can have your cuke and eat it too!