The one about the last request...

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

"Aye, That he did, Father..."

"And what did he say?"

"He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."