The one about kissing it.....

Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the big toilet like his daddy. He pushes up the seat and balances his little penis on the rim.

Just then the toilet seat slams down, and little Johnny lets out a scream.

His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room clutching his genitals and howling.

He looks up at her with his little tear stained face and sniffles, "K-k-k-k-kiss {sniff} it and make it better."

Little Johnny's mother shouts, "Don't start your father's shit with me!"